Kathryn Booth

I Declare!

Living here in Point Roberts, Washington sends me through the US/Canada border pretty frequently. One of the questions they ask is “Anything to declare?”

They want to know if I have $1o,000 or more in cash (uh, no.)…forbidden produce that may have entered my shopping cart in Canada such as the dreaded avocado, lemons, cherries or potatoes among a long list of others that I am sort of learning; goat and lamb meat are also verboten and that has been a katie kiss real challenge – not because I am always wanting to purchase them…but because I am a bit of a sassy miss and when they ask “Any goat or lamb?” I always want to say “Mmmaaaeehhhhbee? Is that baaaad?”

So I thought I’d journal some personal declarations…because I can.

July 2009 – “I Declare!”

Spanx really work! Until you get over 200 lbs…

There should be “offensive sex registries” not just “registered sex offenders”! (Men of a certain age don’t like being told they aren’t quite all that…that drooling at that special moment isn’t a turn on…that slick, sweaty back hair shouldn’t be shaken on the bed like a dog coming in from the rain…well some things my “friends” have told me. I’m watching out for that!)

When you get asked to dance by someone you don’t know and have just arrived at a club, it’s a good idea to see if they can dance or if they are a Roxbury refugee, a monkey man or spastic…

Those pants tucked in the tops of your boots (Canadian border) remind me of classic Star Trek uniforms.

That wasn’t an “Estate Sale” I went to – it was a time machine back to 1967.